I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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