should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
