Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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