Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
