Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i think i just lost a toe
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
