tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
