I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
