Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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