I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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