At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
