I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
