You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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