I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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