Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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