as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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