Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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