this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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