im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
