we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
