Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
