we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
