There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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