You work out of a Hotel?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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