There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
