i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
