You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
