Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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