Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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