After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
