i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
