He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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