I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
