just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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