i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
