I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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