Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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