She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
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well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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