so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
