Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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