i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
