no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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