hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
