i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
