Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
