why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
