I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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