Barsexuality is the new black.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
