capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
