I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
