Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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