I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
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And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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