I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
