okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
