I skipped work to stalk him.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
