in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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