Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
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How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
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Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.