It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf