So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar