I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
