Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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