The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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