You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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