Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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