You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so let's talk penis.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My bed smells like the plague
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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